Ever heard of a “Solutions Social”? Neither had I until about a week ago when I was invited to attend one. Basically, it is an evening for “Solution Seekers” to snack on appetizers, chat with friends, and listen to five mini-presentations on food, home, money, spouse, and family. I was intrigued, so I signed up to attend with a friend.
Part of the RSVP process involved completing a little bio, including answering the question “I’m good at…” and “But I need solutions for…”. I had no problem coming up with areas I could use help, things like using natural cleaning products and organization tips, but I got stuck when I had to come up with things that I am good at.
Okay, okay, I did come up with a few things, like ignoring how dirty the house is until there is visible dust and grime and then flipping out and cleaning like a madwoman. I’m also really good at feeling guilty about having to do work instead of being with the kids…and then feeling guilty about being with the kids when I have work to do. And cooking? Well, I make tasty banana bread, lasagna, and grilled cheese sandwiches, but the rest can be kinda hit or miss.
Come on! Why was this so difficult? I mean, I am a relatively successful person, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say that I was an expert…at anything.
Part of the problem, I decided, was something that has plagued me my entire life. I have so many things that I enjoy doing that instead of becoming an expert on any particular thing, I settle for being decent at many things. I think about the Olympic athletes and their single-minded focus on one sport, and it seems like the exact opposite of my life. I am a dabbler…a little scrapbooking, a little running, a little blogging, a little organizing, a little of this and a little of that.
Unfortunately, this means that I wouldn’t be qualified to give a presentation on making my own laundry detergent or baking an amazing appetizer. (Yes, my plan B appetizer for the Solutions Social was a bowl of alphabet cookies with frosting “dip” after I burned my first attempt. I tried to make cinnamon sugar crescent roll twists, and because I was simultaneously trying to make dinner, clean up the house, and feed the baby, I forgot to take them out of the oven…whoops…)
Plus, my expectations for myself are ridiculously high, which is a pretty common female trait. I beat myself up for not giving the kids an educational “experience” every day and berate myself when I look at my pile of overstuffed file folders that were supposed to keep me organized, but instead attract even more clutter.
Boy, do I need some perspective.
I take a deep breath and take a fresh look at my life. Well, I may not have an awesome solution for how to organize kitchen spices, but I am a whiz at constructing tents out of chairs and blankets. I may not be the next Food Network star, but I am superb at involving my kids as tiny sous chefs to make peppermint parfaits or homemade pizza dough. I may never balance my checkbook, but my husband and I are great at having calm, practical discussions about our finances.
Huh…I guess I can do a few things right…
Monday night rolls around, and I head to the social, where I did indeed pick up some great solutions and inspiration to tackle my “good intentions” list..a good night. And you know what? I didn’t allow any discouragement or guilt or expectations to creep in, because even though I am far from perfect (and my house could use a good scrubbing), I am doing the best job I can as a wife and mother, and that is what matters.
I feel the same way. I do a lot of things but I’m never perfect at any of them. Think about how much our kids can benefit though from our well-roundedness:)
Jack of all trades, master of none here too! I think the well-roundedness is a positive things. Variety is the spice of life, isn’t it?
I’d love to hear some of those Solutions!
I am sure that I will pass on the “well-roundedness” to my kids too…but I still have a secret wish to be a jedi master at something! 🙂