I made it through my first day of school, and while I am definitely rusty, it went relatively well. There aren’t too many students that hate public speaking, and I didn’t say anything too ridiculous. What I did realize, and have been realizing, is how I deal with stressful or nerve wracking situations. I always tell my students that I don’t really get nervous, which I guess is true, because I don’t get the butterflies in my stomach or anything, but…my body gets incredibly tense and tight.
About a month ago, I participated in the creation of a DVD of mini-lectures for the speech class I teach. My Mom had arrived that morning, and she even mentioned to me that I was acting strange. I was like, “no, I’m not”, totally defensive of course, but when I was driving home afterwards, I could just feel the tightness seeping out of my body. It was such a wierd feeling.
The same thing happened yesterday, but I recognized the feeling before I left for class this time…ahhh, my self-awareness is progressing. And yeah, I was a little anxious, because of not teaching these particular classes since last fall, and not knowing how I was going to come across to my students.
So now that I know this, I need to find a better coping strategy…for my very own “Rachel Butterflies”. And I guess I have a new story to share with my students when we talk about speaking anxiety!
I am definitely glad that I am not teaching speech or even taking the class, although you are probably an awesome teacher! I know I would freeze, either barf or faint, and never want to come back! Kudos to you for standing up if front of students! I hope your first few weeks go well!