Things I Don’t Do

And the sequel to the Things I Do…things that I don’t do…

I don’t…

1. Keep houseplants…they always withered and died, so I stopped trying…

2. Watch non-kid television while the kids are awake. There’s plenty of time for that later, I figure…

3. Scrub out dirty socks. I am not willing to sacrifice my already chapped hands for the sake of a few dingy socks…

4. Ask for help. I’m working on it…

5. Cut the grass. Okay, so maybe I have attempted it once or twice, but I can’t mow a straight line to save my life…

6. Flush the toilet after Parker poops. After a few overflowing toilet episodes, I now leave it for Ben to deal with…

7. Watch rated “R” movies unless they are the TV version…I’m just too wimpy…

8. Have any trouble sleeping. It usually takes me about…30 seconds to fall asleep…

9. Wash my face before bed. I know…I know…it’s horrible…

10. Eat chick peas or anything made out of chick peas. It’s the texture…I just can’t hack it!

11. Like wearing glasses. I feel much more self-conscious when I have them on -maybe a holdover from junior high?

12. Wear skinny jeans. I will rock wide legged pants until the day they start getting caught in my walker…

13. Read books more than once. There are a few exceptions…I read The Journey of the Dawn Treader, Anne of Avonlea, and the third book of the Love Comes Softly series countless times as a kid. But hardly ever now that I’m an adult…

14. Like talking about long-term planning…it makes me twitchy, mainly because I usually don’t know what is happening next week, let alone next year. I’m working on that too…

15. Have a plan for when all my kids are in school full-time…reference #14…

16. Consider myself an expert on anything. Can I be an expert at being well-rounded, which is code for “not an expert at anything”?

17. Talk about being “fat” or not liking the way I look around my kids. They will have a positive self-image, if I do anything about it…

18. Make my kids eat unusual vegetables. Tonight Madi said she wanted to try a new vegetable, and Parker said, “Like a tomato?” We’re working on that too…

19. Balance my checkbook. I think I stopped after working at a bank branch where a lady came in every month to have me reconcile her account…to the penny. It was horrible, and I never balanced my own checkbook again…

20. Feel very “hip”, especially after perusing my list…

So…what don’t you do?