We have a mammoth walnut tree in our backyard. I am talking huge. The branches stretch over most of the yard, and in the fall they are weighed down with walnuts…green on the outside, black and sticky on the inside. Over the last week, I have watched in amazement…and horror as the walnuts have been falling thick and fast from branches 30 feet up in the air, sometimes five or six at a time, sometimes 40-50 in an hour.
This means we have been picking up walnuts like crazy, because the only thing worse than picking up walnuts is picking up walnuts that are half decomposed. I think we are up to 35 five-gallon buckets of walnuts so far…and counting. Last weekend, I felt like I was fighting a losing battle as I picked up bucket after bucket while they kept falling all around me, covering the ground I had just cleared. I was irritated – frustrated – running on a treadmill full of walnuts, and I thought…why was this feeling so familiar?
I guess my memory is just that short. The same weekend, maybe even the same day, I found myself sitting in the bathroom with my mind spinning with all the things I had to do. Grocery lists, thank you notes, overdue writing assignments, backlogged email, sick husband, overdue library books, dirty floors, to-do lists, and then, “Mom…Mom…Mom…Mom…” – the summons rang out from the backyard with some sort of minor emergency, and I caved to the stress. “What can you possibly need?”, I snapped, “I’m just trying to go to the bathroom, for heaven’s sakes!”
I don’t remember what the “emergency” was, but I definitely remember my reaction. I was irritated – frustrated – running on a treadmill of tasks with no end in sight. Typically, I would continue to wallow in the funk, but somehow…miraculously…I stopped (yes, right in the bathroom) and started to count gifts instead. Healthy kids…unusually warm weather…bike rides…collecting leaves for art creations…challenging sermons…hugs…no 3 a.m. wakeup call from Fiona…and I found myself relaxing instead of tensing up, looking at the big picture instead of focusing on the minutia, committing to enjoying the day instead of simply surviving it.
I love that instead of always jumping to frustration and stress, giving thanks comes to my mind instead, even if just sometimes. I have so much…so much…to be thankful for, and to use my time and energy being annoyed that the house is dirty or being frustrated that my kids insisted on me raking the leaves into a pile so they could jump in them and get covered in walnut goo…well, it seems like such a waste.
I have been out of the gift counting routine for the last two months, and I’m ready to get back in the habit. So I guess I can count a bucket of walnuts as gift #143…for getting me back on track…but I think I am also thankful that they are almost done falling…
