The sun is warm on my face as I hustle the kids past the giant sandbox at Meijer Gardens and over to the swarm of kids floating plastic boats around the giant Great Lakes shaped pools of water. Today, even Fiona gets into the fracas, splashing water all over both of us as I squat behind her to make sure she doesn’t whack her chin on the concrete edge.
As Fiona giggles at her boat, my gaze flits around to the other moms, and familiar feelings of self-consciousness bubbles to the surface. Most of them look like they just stepped out of a J. Crew catalog, and it makes me painfully aware of my slightly damp ponytail and frayed pants that don’t hide my three kid belly. Tucking my hair behind my ear, I realize I have been wearing only one earring all morning…yep, looking like a winner today…
Okay, when I look closer, I realize that half of them are nannies, and have never seen this side of a stretch mark, so they get a free pass…for now…
The other half, the moms in the crowd, if I look past the cool clothes and perfect hair, well……
There’s the mom torn between finishing up a work phone call and the two year old pulling on her leg. On her way up the corporate ladder, a “day off” still means being available for questions and conference calls. She is energized by her work, but equally plagued by the limited amount of time she is able to be with her kids.
The mom next to her keeps glancing over, half annoyed, half jealous of the constant work interruptions. She was offered her dream job smack dab in the middle of the earliest years of her kids and decided to turn it down to take a more flexible part time position. It is one thing to know it is the right thing to do, but there are times when it still twinges….oh, how it twinges…
Across the water from me is a mom who is singing the ABC’s to her toddler as he splashes, a huge grin plastered on her face. Then, she looks up, and I can see the fatigue around her eyes. She loves being home with her child, but there are days when she would gladly turn in the constant noise, Little Einstein episodes, and poopy diapers for an afternoon of solitude.
I don’t really know all of their stories, but I think we are more similar than I thought. All of us are really not so perfect moms, just doing the best we can to love our kids…and sacrifice for our families, whatever that may look like.
My daydreaming abruptly ends as Madi and Parker dash over, dripping wet from head to toe, so I scoop up Fiona and hold my head high as I wrangle dry clothes on all three kids before heading towards the exit. I leave the crowd behind…but take with me a bit more perspective…
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You hit this one perfectly. Great writing! Could see the whole thing like I was there with you, in my holey jeans and four baby tummy and no make up and forgot to pick up conditioner hair.
Thanks Denise…it seemed like it took me forever to write for being so short! 🙂
I remember being the nanny and thinking really highly of the moms in situations like that, never noticing baby bellies, only happy faces on parent & child. I like to remind myself of that now when I’m feeling self-conscious!
Kate…thanks for another perspective…:)