Today I am linking up with The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday to talk about “Expectation”. My job? Write for five minutes…no editing, no over thinking, no worries.
Go…
When my first little daughter was handed to me, a crying, squirming bundle, I thought I knew what to expect. Kissable cheeks, lots of snuggling, awe at watching her grow, all things that did prove to be true.
What I didn’t plan on was the ridiculous amount of time I have spent over the last seven years talking, lamenting, sweating, stressing, cajoling, threatening, bribing, encouraging my kids to poop.
Yes. Poop.
Countless times, I have found myself crouched by the toilet, feeling like a Lamaze instructor, beads of sweat on both our upper lips, as I soothingly say, “Breathe…now push…don’t forget to breathe again…” When that doesn’t work, I dole out the Miralax and fiber like a pharmacist, carefully dissolved in their favorite beverages, disguised in their meals, and watch for the first signs of movement.
We talk about poop like we are investigating a crime. When, where, how much, and how do you feel, kids? And when it actually happens, we celebrate like there is no tomorrow…and drag out the plunger.
Never would have thought….not in a million years. Expectations…blown out of the water.
It’s a glamourous life we lead. One for the paparazzi.
I wonder if the nannies of famous people get hazard pay for having to deal with these things…:)
hi neighbor….thanks…this made me smile this morning…and oh yes…I remember the potty dance in our house…you brought me back in time…we did spend so much time focusing on poop:) blessings to you~
Yep…lots and lots of time 🙂 Thanks for visiting! 🙂
Bahahaha…who knew poop could be this important? Mine have no problem pooping so ours is opposite…like how can we not poop five times today? I am typically a one poop a day person so this baffles me. Now, if I can get my two year old to poop in the potty! There is a lot of treats, bribery, and of course cheering and my son has gone some…so we praise these small feats. Good luck and I hope you have a great weekend.
Oh….it’s important all right…unfortunately 🙂 I haven’t quite found the right blend of “positive reinforcement” yet! Thanks for stopping by and have a good weekend too!!
Yes!
But hang on and trust me … it does get better!
Thanks for the encouragement! 🙂
Ah, you speak some of my language…I never really would have thought or even imagined the life of a parent surrounding peeing and pooping.
…nope. Never thought about it either. I guess those are the surprises of parenthood!
Thanks for this; without having kids, it’s always nice hearing about some of the surprises in store in the future!:)
Hmmm…maybe this is one thing you don’t want to know about! 🙂 Thanks for visiting!
Oh boy, I can completely relate to this! We have had more pooping issues than I can count…since my almost 6 year old was born. More of it since she was potty trained at 2. Multiple x-rays, more $ spent on Miralax than I care to know, getting “cleaned out” in the ER, prolapsed rectum…the list is endless. Who knew pooping could be such a nightmare! So, saying all that hoopla, I understand your frustration- you are not alone!
Thanks Holly…it has (and continues to be) a rough journey for two of our kids. Unbelievable…and the crazy part is how many people deal with it!!