motherhood is for hybrids…..

According to CNN commentator Hilary Rosen, Ann Romney was not qualified to speak about women’s issues considering her not “working a day in her life” She backtracked on Twitter all the way to an on-air apology, but the statement was out and the damage had been done. The fire had been stoked, both on Twitter and in me.

I am so tired of women bashing each other for their choices. It happens in the political arena and it happens at the mall play area. We demean and challenge and nitpick until all that remains is a shredded motherhood banner that says only “her”…look at her, making choices that are different than mine. Look at her, so I don’t have to look at myself.

If I had to reconstruct that banner, it would say, “motherhood is for hybrids”.

That’s right. Hybrids.

All moms have an engine that fuels them…in the shape of their kiddos. It drives them to passionate activism, sparks their instinct to protect and nurture, pushes them to look outside themselves, and guides their decisions. It is all consuming, motivating, challenging, and fulfilling, enough to fully propel a woman through life and hardly give her a moment to refuel.

But I believe that every mom also has another engine that fuels her. The form that it takes is as unique as a fingerprint, but it is there in each mom. It is there in the mom who teaches Sunday school every week, in the mom who is the caregiver for an extended family member, in the mom who helps run the family farm, in the mom who gets up every day to teach her kids, in the mom who gets up every day to volunteer at school, in the mom who earns the primary household income, in the mom who teaches nights and weekends, in the mom who swaps childcare with other moms, in the mom who squeezes in work hours between bus pickups and drop offs.

For some moms, these engines run full tilt, in concert with their job as a mom. In others, they fire up during certain seasons of life…a part time job to get the family through economic difficulties, volunteering at her kids school, or jumping into the workforce to help pay tuition.

The blend of motherhood and “the rest” may be unique to each woman, but collectively, it is what gives moms our strength. Let’s stop attacking our own ranks, and wave the banner of motherhood high once more. Motherhood is for hybrids, and if I sat down with Ann Romney, I am certain that she would agree.