One Thousand Gifts…on 2012…

Growing up, New Years Day was a big deal in our family. We made a big meal, finished our family puzzle that we started on Christmas, and polished off the last of the cookies. There was a sense of arrival and a feeling of excitement that came from being ready to go back to school and work.

But yesterday, when I woke up, I felt no such thrill of excitement over the fresh calendar page. In fact, I was downright cranky. I pulled a muscle in my neck the day we left my parent’s house – it feels the worst right when I wake up, and it was throbbing. The kids had reached their capacity…for each other…and spent the morning arguing and some quality minutes in time out. Ben was furiously painting the living room ceiling and accomplishing chores around the house like no one’s business, which was great, but it highlighted my feeling that everything I was doing was fragmented, interrupted, and incomplete.

Happy New Year? Didn’t feel like it, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I was so miserable. But then I realized that I was in serious need of some alone time. Between the pre-vacation rush, traveling, lots of togetherness with my family, and then the last weekend being jammed with house showings and time with the kids, I had spent very little of it by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and everything we were able to do over the holidays, but I was not intentional about solid time for just me. Could have – should have – didn’t.

Good self-realization…just a little too late. I did send Ben and the kids outside today to play in the snow and got about 30 minutes to collect my thoughts, but tomorrow Ben goes back to work, the kids go back to school, and we are looking at a potentially very hectic January. And maybe that is what I need to remember…that even if this month is full to overflowing, I still need to carve out little chunks of time, even if something else doesn’t get done. And that recognition is a gift…paid in advance.

And a few more gifts…in an assortment of photo formats…

#268: finding old snapshots

#269: turning homemade challah into delicious french toast

#270: breakfast for dinner

#271: that bubbles never grow old

#272: kiddos who think firefighters only ride in parades

 #273: Madi still enjoying the Childrens Museum

#274: letters to American Girl magazine

#275: Fiona throwing her arms around my neck while we snuggle in bed

#276: new art books

#277: the thrill the kids got out of creating a new recipe…even when they turned out like this…(TOO MANY MARSHMALLOWS!)

#278: feeling even keeled about a possible offer on our house

#279: actually going out on New Years Eve

#280: my Mom – the Scrabble master – playing Words with Friends with me

#281: And oh yes…self-realization too…