I stood at the top of the hill, peering down into the playground below, when I spotted Madi. She was meandering around by herself, looking positively dismal, while the rest of the playground bustled with kid activity. It took everything in me to not go dashing down the hill to “rescue” her. Thankfully, I had to pick Parker up and get my Mom to the airport, so I didn’t have a chance to go and solidify my spot on the “helicopter parent” roster.
But…I did talk to her teacher to make sure that she was aware of the situation. And…I did start to cry while I talked to her, demonstrating the complete emotional mess that I find myself in over the state of my children.
I didn’t expect to find myself here so early in Madi’s school career…precariously perched on the line between caring deeply about what happens to my kids and being the “over the top” parent who micro-manages every part of their lives. It is a thin line, one that is a little too easy to slip off into all sorts of crazy if I don’t keep my balance.
Helicopter parent is not something I want to add to my business card. I want them to be successful without running constant interference and hovering in their wake to clean up the mess. Do that too often, and it can start to interfere with their ability to make confident decisions on their own and find their own way.
It reminds me of one of my college students. Her parent sent me countless e-mails about enrollment into my class, textbook, and class requirements. Just a little over the top, right? Especially considering their child was a junior. Make that a lot over the top.
But for today, it was all about the playground, not college credits. So I stifled my urge to camp out at the top of the hill every day during recess, and instead, Madi and I came up with a “plan b” for the next day. I was skeptical that she was even going to try her new plan, but she did, and thankfully, it worked. Two days later, her “3 best things list” about her day included recess.
A small thing. Easily conquered. Down the road, it is going to be more difficult to stay out of the way and let things take their course. I may slip into the land of Crazyville unintended once in a while. I think all parents do once or twice, because we want a clear path for our kids. But I don’t intend to stay there. All that hovering, sounds counter-productive…and exhausting!
