Encounters of the First Grade: Part I

As we rattled down the dirt road, I could feel my insides stiffening up. Forcing cheerfulness, I hollered over my shoulder to Madi, “We are almost there, aren’t you so excited?” “Yes”, she said, but when I glanced in the mirror, she didn’t look too sure. We were heading to the Most High Barn in Ada for a “beginning of the school year” party with Madi’s new first grade class, and we were both nervous…for different reasons.

Of course, Madi was apprehensive about meeting new kids in an unfamiliar setting. I didn’t blame her; I was the same way as a kid…okay, I’m the same way now too. As for me, I really wanted it to be a good experience, because I worried that it would damper her enthusiasm for the first day of school. Kids aren’t always mean, but they can be dismissive, and that is sometimes even worse.

We arrived, and I did the parental meet and greet while Madi hung onto my hand. When the one girl that Madi knew showed up with her own “best bud” and didn’t say hi to her, I started to squirm, but then it was time to ride and groom the miniature horses, play games, and color. Distraction is always good, especially when riding a horse was at the top of Madi’s wish list.

As the morning progressed, I could tell that she was scared out of her mind, mostly because she was using her “squeaky” voice. But when it was time to eat lunch, Madi insisted that we eat with the other girls, and Madi finally made a connection with another little girl. Okay…I might have helped it along by pointing out everything they had in common, but when they ran off to frost cookies together, I was more than relieved.

That night at dinner, when she told Ben and Parker all about her day, she was bubbling over with stories about the horses and her new friend. I was so thankful that it went well, but it made me realize that I won’t always be there to help her “break the ice”. There will be plenty of times where she will have to decide whether she is going to cower in the corner or take a risk.

I have spent the last five years protecting her as much as possible from hurt and disappointment, filtering what she hears and experiences, and providing her with gobs of positive reinforcement. Not that I won’t keep doing that, but when she is gone for 7.5 hours a day? That’s a lot of time away…necessary but terrifying.

Madi? She’s tough…speaks her mind…smart as a whip…ready to take first grade by storm…she is going to be just fine. But if you see me sitting in the school parking lot with a splotchy face and runny nose, feel free to hand me a Kleenex…because I’m not ready for this yet.

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