There are some things that are difficult to appreciate. I definitely took for granted all the one-on-one time that Madi and I were able to have before Parker was born and didn’t realize how wonderful it was until this week when I started having solid Parker and me time while Madi is in preschool. There is very little time where Parker and I are by ourselves – every once in a while he will wake up from his nap before Madi or Ben will take Madi to run errands, but usually it is sibling time…all the time.
This is fine and all, but there are some definite downsides. First of all, Parker insists on doing every single thing that Madi does and play with every single toy that she is playing with, so I am constantly refereeing arguments, trying to find a duplicate toy for him to play with (two books, two backpacks, two baby dolls, two workbooks) and trying to figure out whose turn it is to push the shopping cart around the house. Many times these discussions include tears, pushing, “I’m sorry” hugs, and me barricading myself in the bathroom for a minute to regroup. There are some days where I really have to dig deep for grace, especially when it starts before we even make it downstairs for breakfast.
One of the books my Speech class reads is called Communicating for Life by Quentin Schultze and this week’s chapter was all about grace, inexplicable grace where God can take our imperfect communication and still use it for His glory. We tend towards symbolic entropy – where our communication starts to lose the grace and peace that He intended, and my words get sharp and exasperation sets in. I snap at the kids instead of teaching them patience and forgiveness. Thank goodness for grace, because many times my words are the epitome of imperfection, but somehow God uses it anyways.
The other downside to constant “sibling” time is that we tend to do more activities that Madi wants to do because she is able to articulate them more clearly and because, again, Parker wants to do whatever she wants to do. She wants to paint, so we all paint. She wants to make a tent, we all make a tent. Parker will initiate activities, but he will drop everything if he sees Madi doing something that looks “cooler”. I have to be deliberate about focusing him on age appropriate activities like rolling his trucks back and forth, playing catch, and sorting shapes.
So, I am loving the time that Parker and I have while Madi is in preschool. I can focus all of my attention on him, and do activities that he will enjoy. Today we rode the pony at Meijer a couple times and we went to the play area at Grandville mall to run through the tunnel about 20 times in a row. He is such a precious kid, and I am bound and determined to make sure he gets equal opportunities and equal attention. I’m already planning out our other fun excursions – things I did with Madi at his age – it is going to be a blast!
