Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday: Dance

Posted by on Jun 29, 2012 in Five Minute Friday, perspective | 7 comments

 

This week’s 5 Minute Friday is all about “dance”…just writing, no thinking…

GO

We walked into the little dance studio and it all flooded back to me. The evenings that we spent bringing Madi to this very place to shuffle, ball-change, point, and somersault while I waited in the cramped hallway, huddled around the viewing window. It had not changed much in the two or so years since we had taken her for lessons…a few more trophies on the shelves, a couple new pictures hanging on the walls. The instructors didn’t seem to age either – sweatpants, bare feet, ponytailed teachers who jumped and wiggled in dramatic fashion, enticing the little ones to do the same.

I felt like an old-timer as we slipped on tap shoes to start the class, but it still felt like new territory as I shooed Fiona and Parker into their respective classrooms. I still peeked and smiled at their excitement, still felt that tug in my chest as I saw my baby look so grown up in her hot pink ruffled dance dress, still felt so proud as I watched Parker keeping up with the kids who so obviously had been dancing for a few years already.

When does it end, that feeling of always experiencing things with your kids for the first time? When will I ever feel truly prepared for changes, transitions, new experiences?

Don’t think I ever will…

STOP

Five Minute Friday: Risk

Posted by on Jun 22, 2012 in Five Minute Friday, perspective | 10 comments

 

This week’s 5 Minute Friday is all about “risk”…which makes me quake in my flip-flops a little bit. I never quite know what is going to pop out of my fingertips, but it is so good to just write without over analyzing things.

Here goes nothing…

We sit at Culver’s, the remnants of grilled cheese and applesauce sitting in front of us, when I ask my daughter to go up and order the ice cream. She freezes for just a second, her mind flipping the idea over and over, calculating the fear…the risk…the reward. Finally, she  sets her jaw, grabs her brother’s hand, and walks up to the counter, white paper vouchers fluttering in her hand.

I stay and gaze out into the parking lot, thinking of a younger version of myself, who would have refused the challenge. Terrified to talk to people I didn’t know, self-aware of every defect and flaw, who missed out on more than a few opportunities to grow, get to know other people, and experience new things.

Gnawing on the grilled cheese crusts, I wonder what my “trip to the counter” is right now? I have moved past the paralyzing insecurity, but what remains is just as insidious. Worried about disappointments and scared to fail, I flutter about, giving the appearance of action, but scared to take that one definitive step around an unknown corner.

The kids return, ice cream in hand, with huge grins on their faces. They dive in, chocolate smearing joyously across their cheeks, the reward sweeter because of their bravery. I want to be like them…to step up to the counter and order the next chapter of my life with confidence.

STOP

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