Find all of my 31 Moments of Motherhood posts here.
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[Lights come up on a closed toilet facing stage right, with a free-standing door in front of it, wide open. Woman on a phone comes walking onstage, plugging her ears as she tries to talk to someone on the other end of the line.]
Me
“Hello? What did you say? Yes, I have an account with AT & T…”
[aside, in a loud stage whisper] “Kids…I’m trying to talk on the phone…can you please go wrestle somewhere else?”
“What? Hello?!?”
[Goes through bathroom door, closes it, and sits down on the toilet.]
Me
“Yes, I’m here. I have a question about a charge on my bill.”
Kid [offstage]
“I have to go to the bathroom! I have to go to the bathroom!”
[Stands up, leaves bathroom to let kid go inside, and closes door.]
Me
“My account number? Let me find that…” [walks offstage]
[Comes back, plugging ears again, and goes back inside bathroom.]
Me
“I couldn’t find my account number, can you find it another way?”
[Loud knocking]
Me
Never mind.
[Hangs up. Lights down.]
