Scene 3: The Maternity Jeans

Posted by on Oct 5, 2012 in 31 Moments of Motherhood, perspective | 0 comments

Find all of my 31 Moments of Motherhood posts here.

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Scene 3:

[The lights come up on a dressing room curtain. A woman walks in from stage right, carrying a pile of maternity jeans on hangers over her arm.]

Me

[Yelling over her shoulder] “Mom? Do you really think I’m ready for maternity clothes? I mean, my jeans still fit, especially the second day I wear them. I have been wearing these jeans for a week, and look…they are perfectly molded to my body.”

[Pause, as she looks back offstage, wrinkling her nose at what she hears in the distance and dropping all but one pair of jeans on the floor. She holds them up to her waist, examining herself in an imaginary mirror.]

Me

[Yelling] “They look so weird with the stretchy band at the top, Mom. Aren’t they going to look ridiculous on me?”

[To herself] “Ugh. I just don’t think I’m ready to “look” pregnant. I’ve only gained about 10 pounds so far, but maybe I’m not quite ready to accept that there is a lot more weight to come and that’s it’s okay to gain it. Plus, right now I just look like I have been eating too many donuts…thick, not pregnant.”

“Maybe I can keep squeezing into my regular jeans for a little longer. These maternity jeans just seem so…odd.”

[Yelling] “Yeah, Mom…I’m going to try them on.”

[Picks up stack of jeans and goes behind curtain.]

Me

“Here goes nothing. [Pause.] Oh…..oh my……these are….awesome!”

[Throws open curtain, modeling her new look.]

Me

[Yelling] “Mom! Why didn’t anyone tell me that maternity jeans are like wearing pajamas? Is this one of those secrets of getting pregnant? They are so comfortable and stretchy…and I can breathe again!”

[Looks in mirror]

Me

[Incredulously] “I may never want to stop wearing maternity jeans…ever again!”

[Lights down]

 

 

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