Find all of my 31 Moments of Motherhood posts here.
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[Lights come up on a woman next to a bathroom vanity in a restaurant. She is wearing a black high-waisted cotton sundress and a pair of heels. A restaurant table, set for four, is across the stage. ]
Me
[Turns to the side to talk to next person in the bathroom line] “Excuse me? Yeah, one of the toilets isn’t working, so it’s a long line.” [Pause to listen, then chuckle nervously.] “What? No, I’m okay…I’m not pregnant.”
[Stepping away from the “line”, she huffily walks over to the table, smoothing her dress as she walks.]
Me
“I can’t believe what just happened! Someone in the bathroom thought I was pregnant and wanted me to jump ahead in line. The nerve!”
[She sits down at the table and puts napkin on lap.]
Me
“Well, let’s get dessert – I’m ready to eat!” [Looks up to talk to the waiter] “Excuse me? Yes, I’ll have a glass of water with lemon.” [Listening, horrified.] “Uh, no…we are not celebrating my pregnancy. I’m…uh…not pregnant.”
[Stands up and rushes back to the bathroom, leaning on the edge of the sink and trying not to cry.]
Me
[Talking to her reflection in the mirror.] “Seriously? Are you kidding me? All I wanted was a nice night out on the town, and I get slammed about looking pregnant…twice in one night? How do I go back out there and act like nothing happened when I feel like I just had an entire layer of soul skin ripped off in one fell swoop.”
[Putting head down and allowing herself to cry for a few moments.]
“Tougher skin. I think I need tougher skin.”
“And a new dress. This one is going in the dress-up bin.”
[She wipes at her eyes, straightens her dress, puts on some lip gloss, takes a deep breath, and starts to walk back to the table. As she walks, the lights go down.]
